Top 25 random thoughts

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How is anyone supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
7. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
8. Bad decisions make good stories.
9. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
10. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Windows 7? I just can’t learn any more.
11. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
12. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever.
13. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail! What did you do after I didn’t answer, drop the phone and run?
14. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no freaking idea what was going on when I first saw it.
17. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
18. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to open a candy bar.
19. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
20. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Is it just me or do high school kids get weirder and weirder every year?
23. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after tilting your chair back a little too far.
24. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
25. Sometimes we can’t find our keys. Sometimes we can’t find our cell phones. But, we can always find the snooze button – first time, every time!

I hear these things said quite regularly and lately it has occurred to me that these concepts and philosophies are as true in life, just as they are in tennis. Take for example, “Enjoy, gentlemen!” Isn’t this something we all strive for, every day, in all we do? When we’re at play, the very concept of play is all about enjoyment and yet most of our play, tennis, basketball, Monopoly, card games and Pin the Tail on the Donkey, is all competitive. We play, because we enjoy the structure of the game and the competitive nature of the challenge and we want to win. In wanting to win we naturally are hoping that everyone else come in second.

On the tennis courts, if I hit a winning shot, I’m real happy about that! On the other hand, if I happen to hit an unforced error (or even a forced error) my opponent is very happy. Someone is happy with every shot. How true this is in every game or sport and how true in business as well.

Get the order…Happy! Lose the order to your competition and your competition is happy. You start the day with that “Enjoy, gentlemen!” attitude and have your ups and downs throughout the day based on how good your “shots” are and how often the competition misses.

In tennis, when I miss a shot, I’m eager to get the ball back in play so I can redeem myself…hit a winner. I take a few seconds to consider just what I did wrong and what I need to do to win the next point. I’ll consider my opponents strengths and weaker areas. Like a laser, I am focused on that ball and will do whatever it takes, often even taking major risks, to avoid his strengths and hit my best shot to his weak side or better still, “hit it where he ain’t”.

Do we do that in life? After a bad day with a friend, loved one or family member, do we blame them or consider what we did wrong? Do we focus on making things right, right away, or do we hold a grudge? Buddy Hackett once said, “I never hold a grudge, because while I’m busy holding a grudge, the other guy is out dancing.” Buddy Hackett was not only hysterically funny; he was rather wise as well. Thanks for that one Buddy.

In business, when we lose the sale, do we rethink our strategies or consider what the competition did that won him or her that order? How often do we (often secretly) accuse the prospect or customer of being a jerk for not seeing the benefits of going with us? Do we brush ourselves off and jump right back in or do we take some time to feel miserable and blame everyone else? Do we consider our mistakes, learn from them, take some major risks and come back to make our best shot? Tom Peters taught me that mistakes and failures are OK, if and when we learn from those failures. In fact, he says that, companies need to fail faster. He points out that failure is what breeds success.

So, “Enjoy, gentlemen and ladies” and remember, “Someone is happy with every shot.” Take a risk, make your shots, be happy and enjoy the challenge.

Barry Roberts is a motivational humorist helping business become more profitable by reducing stress and developing innovative strategies. His keynotes and workshop seminars earn the highest industry ratings. Barry’s book “Practice Safe Stress” is rather successful and is available internationally online. Visit www.BarryRoberts.com for more on Barry, his presentations, availability and contact information

On the list of little known holidays, some are rather important. During February, from the 10th to the 14th, we observe Cardiac Rehabilitation Week. This annual event is dedicated to the cardiac rehabilitation professionals and the patients they serve, to the goal of reducing the devastating effects of heart disease. Indeed a worthy endeavor to those of us who care about our health.

Not to take anything away from those professionals, and in addition to what they do, there is so much we can do for and by ourselves, through a daily regimen of laughter!

No joke here; from the Bible (“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.”) to Groucho Marx (“A clown is like an aspirin, except that it works twice as fast.”) experts through the ages are clear about the value of laughter as it relates to our heart and health.

Research studies have shown that laughter and a good sense of humor can protect against heart disease. In other experiments researchers have found that ten minutes of laughter can lower blood pressure and increase circulation. Dr. Michael Miller of the University of Maryland, home of these studies says that, “Recommendations for a healthy heart may one day be exercise, eat right and laugh a few times a day.”

Why wait until “one day”? Laughter, for its curative powers, is a lot like chicken soup…are we sure it will help? It won’t hurt!

Here then, is my prescription for Cardiac Rehabilitation Week and every day, to be taken as often as possible:

• Practice the Five Minute Fun Fling. . Simply put, the Five Minute Fun Flings are five-minute humor breaks that we allow ourselves to take at any time we need or want. During these five minutes of humor, some wonderful things happen to us. First, we help ourselves overcome any stress we may have encountered earlier in the day. Next, we put ourselves in a better frame of mind to deal with any stresses we might encounter later that day. Additionally, practicing the Five Minute Fun Fling helps us to draw humor more easily from those situations that normally cause us stress, anger and frustration.
The ease and frequency with which we participate in the Five Minute Fun Fling, and the value of its benefits improves steadily with practice, just as in practicing a musical instrument. However, the Fun Flings are, well, more fun. Visit www.BarryRoberts.com for more on this and a list of some Five Minute Fun Flings.

•Visualization and Imagery. Mr. or Ms. Stress is a person who most of you deal with each day at work. Surely you know who she is; that person whose mere presence causes you to feel stressed. This is most certainly one of those times that you need your sense of humor. You can do that with an approach called: “Visualization and Imagery.” Suppose Ms. Stress walks in and has big huge floppy rabbit ears or a duckbill where his mouth was? What if Ms. Stress suddenly has the same hairdo as Marge Simpson or Ronald McDonald? Mr. Stress might not look so intimidating and Ms. Stress may have lost some of her edge looking that ridiculous. Once you use your imagination to visualize him or her taking on some of the physical characteristics of your favorite cartoon character or anything you think is funny looking, then you can begin to see these individuals through your sense of humor rather than from a sense of fear or intimidation. This activity minimizes your stress and helps to maintain your confidence and control and adds some laughter to your day.

• Our “inner sense of humor.” We can only experience one emotion at a time and so, we may as well choose to feel happy. This emotion is the one with which we always work at our best and most efficient, creative manner. Stop and think before losing control. Our feelings last only a few seconds unless we fuel them with thoughts. Thoughts are what drive our feelings. Humorous thoughts can drive away negative feelings. Therefore, to find some humor long enough to calm ourselves so we can cope with and resolve the stress, we simply must Think! This idea is the power of “inner sense of humor.”
Relative to our stress level is the amount of humor we need to generate. If we are to minimize and relieve our level of stress, which can be a detriment to our cardiac health, we must enable ourselves to maximize our use of humor, making us more productive, more creative and better able to maintain our heart health and well being.
More tips and more fun are available at www.BarryRoberts.com and in Practice Safe Stress, a guide to using your “inner sense of humor to minimize day-to-day stress, available at the same web site.
Stay well and HAVE FUN!

It was my first trip to Las Vegas, some time around 1973. I stayed at the Las Vegas Hilton, which was the newest hotel in town at the time. The great comedian, Red Skelton, was headlining in the night club. If you’re too young, or do not know who Red Skelton was, I suggest you Google him or check him out on You Tube. He was really one of the greats.
One afternoon as I was walking about the casino, I spotted Red Skelton hiding in a corner, watching intently, someone playing a slot machine. In Red’s hand was his floppy hat (a prop he used in many of his comedy routines), filled with coins. I observed him watching this person for a rather long time and eventually the person left the slot machine, frustrated and disappointed for losing.
In a flash, Red Skelton ran to the slot machine and dumped all of his change into the cash bin. (Note: In those days the machines paid off in actual money, not a voucher as is done today. The money made a lot of noise as it spilled into the cash bin.) As he dumped the money in, he began to jump up and down, very excited, as if he had just won a big pot.
Hearing the ruckus, the poor fellow who just left the machine, turned to see what was going on and realizing that he left that machine just one “pull” too soon, stopped in his tracks, smacked in forehead and let out a big, “Oh no!”
With that Mr. Skelton scooped up the change back into his hat and ran to the fellow he had just duped. He explained what he had done and that, rather than gambling, this was how he spent his time in the casino. The two of them had a good laugh, shook hands and parted ways. Red Skelton headed back to his corner to find his next victim.

Great are the rewards a speaker experiences and so are the stresses. L.I.F.E. and my new book Practice Safe Stress are all about improving our lives by minimizing the stress that interferes with our day-to-day living. The L.I.F.E. Approach reminds us, as Lilly Tomlin points out that, “LAUGHTER improves the shelf life of our sanity.” Indeed it does! The essence and philosophy behind L.I.F .E. is in How we generate

LAUGHTER and tap into our sense of humor.

“I” stands for INTROSPECTION. It is vital for each of us to look inside and examine the situations that typically cause us stress. While we are “in there” we can draw upon other experiences to help us find some humor to dissipate the stress.

The FIVE MINUTE FUN FLING is perhaps the most important of the stress-lessening exercises I prescribe. The Five Minute Fun Fling is a brief shot of humor we give ourselves each day to correct our attitude and perception of stress, to generate the creativity we need to resolve most any stressful situation.

“E” is the ENERGY, ENTHUSIASM AND ENJOYMENT that will evolve by adopting the L.I.F.E. Approach to improve your life.

Practice Safe Stress explores meaningful anecdotes and simple, fun techniques to find and use your inner sense of humor to minimize day-to-day stress. Excerpts from the book are available at www.PracticeSafeStress.com.

First of all believe that you are innovative! Let me assure you that whether you believe that you are or, that you are not, you’re probably right. To help establish a real belief in your ability, think back on some of the innovative things you have done, said or created during your career.

Next, understand that when our thinking takes on a definite form and structure it becomes more effective. While I am suggesting that all readers follow the same step-by-step format, you’ll find that because of your own uniqueness, tastes and life experiences you will each develop your own innovative solutions, even when the questions are the same.

Step one: State the question, problem or dilemma clearly at the top of your worksheet.

Step two: List many, varied and unusual possible answers to your question or solutions to your problem. Do not pre-judge or edit your ideas. List everything (everything!).

Step three: Review your list and group your ideas/answers into categories. For example: hats, t-shirts and socks are all different but all are wearable. Apples, mugs, bagels and forks are different, yet all relate to food or eating. Any ideas/answers that do not fit into a category with anything else on your list, are the most unique.

Step four: Take the best or most unique ideas/answers and elaborate on them to make them truly extraordinary. You can do this by combining two ideas, consider using or doing your idea in a totally new and different way, look at it upside down or backwards, and be outrageous! Add to them, diminish them, change the color or shape, turn it inside out (get the idea?).

Before you begin, it is essential to shift to “right brain” thinking. The right side of our brain is where we do our imaginative, emotional and visual thinking. You can make the shift by bringing humor to your mind (read the funnies or listen to your favorite comic), try some brain teasers (create your own: list all things you can think of that are different shades of green or what other uses are there for a wristwatch, other than a time instrument?), listen to music, play with your kids or play like a kid.

Don’t be afraid to take risks! New answers are what lead to excellence and that is what Innovative Thinking is all about. Don’t be afraid of failure either. Failure is a sign that someone is doing something! By learning from our failures we get them out of the way and move towards success.

Remember that by simply approaching a problem, question or dilemma in a new way, we will usually come up with answers or solutions that are new as well. Giving ourselves the opportunity to see a vast array of possible solutions or answers and then categorizing them to find the most unique, enables us to develop the innovations we seek.

Good Luck & Have Fun!

Keeping your mind and body productive right through the stress.

Ah, to be stress free and self assured. We need to be as close to that as we can so that we can think and perform at our best in any situation. The negative consequences of stress on our emotional state can influence how others perceive us. When we are faced with a stressful situation, most of us become somewhat less in control of the tasks we need to accomplish. The stress can cause us anxiety, fear, frustration and lack of emotional self-control, all of which diminish our level of productivity and feelings of self worth. The amount of stress we encounter each day, and how we deal with that stress can directly affect our productivity, self-esteem and general health. One sure fire method for enhancing self image comes from a sense of self-accomplishment; enhanced by minimizing day-to-day stress. People, who laugh and smile easily, are generally among the most likable and admirable people we know. It is this perception we have of them that often makes them among the most successful and healthiest people we know.

When we laugh or smile, our brain triggers the release of endorphins into our bodies. This chemical provides us with quite a few wonderful side effects which relieve pain, relax our muscles, suppress our appetites and bring about a tremendous feeling of euphoria. This euphoric blanket that covers us when we have an endorphin rush tends to give us a feeling of warmth and calm and control so vital for overcoming a stressful moment which can enhance our self esteem, by making us more creative and productive. While things like exercise, sunshine and certain fragrances can also release endorphins, our own sense of humor is, for many, the easiest (and certainly the most fun) way to benefit. Even a fake smile can circumvent the thought patterns in our mind and trick our brain into sending endorphins into our system. Try breaking into a fake smile (hold it for 30-40 seconds) the next time you’re stressed out about a delayed flight!

By learning to use our own sense of humor, a tool we all have, we can quickly, easily, productively and creatively conquer the stresses that we each face, every day. When we are able to view a situation through our sense of humor rather than a sense of stress, we see things from a new, lighter vantage point; one that will enable us to maintain our sense of self confidence and self control.

How many times have we all said things like, “You know, it seems funny now, but when that happened I could have screamed!”? What we need to do is to be able to make it funny now, so that stress, anxiety anger and frustration play an insignificant role in our lives.

Since stress usually strikes during a serious moment (i.e., an emergency has come up and we cannot reach the client, you have four “situations” happening at the same time, when stuck in traffic), I must point out that that it is OK for us to bring humor into any situation as long as we remember two very important rules:

1. No one may ever be hurt, in any way, by our humor

2. The goal must be to productively resolve the issue at hand.

In line with all of this I recommend that we allow ourselves five minutes of pure fun every day, at any time we wish; a Five Minute Fun Fling that will serve to add humor to our daily lives. The Five Minute Fun Fling will help us to overcome any earlier stresses, better deal with any stresses that may come later, and, in time, will help us to more clearly see the humor in most any real life situation. Try one of these Five Minute Fun Flings every day (by all means, add your own to the list) and you will see amazing results within a few weeks.

•Add a funny caption to a picture in a magazine or newspaper
•Imagine how your favorite TV comedy character (“Kramer”, for example) might deal with one of your stressors.
•Recall some humorous incident that happened to you or someone you know and write it down.

Keep a Humor Journal, filled with all of the funny things you see, hear, read, etc. First, this gives us an opportunity to relive and share all of the fun, it is there for us when we need a quick pick-me-up and it’s very useful if we need some quick humor to add to any presentation or speech we may need to give. Simply getting into the habit of finding things for your Humor Journal will go a long way toward making each day more cheerful, too.

The Mayo Clinic urges us to experience moment of joy, every day, without feeling guilty. Ideas like the Five Minute Fun Fling and keeping a Humor Journal will help us to do just that. With regular practice we can all develop the habits that will allow us to use our inner sense of humor to improve our lives. Go Practice Safe Stress!

Barry Roberts is a humorist, helping businesses achieve maximum profitability & productivity by reducing stress & developing innovative thinking skills. If you’d like to receive an expanded Five Minute Fun Fling list and additional helpful information, go to www.BarryRoberts.com, click on the link to Barry’s e-mail and make your request for information. Barry’s book “Practice Safe Stress” is available now!

Barry’s unique approach for minimizing day-to-day stress by using our “inner sense of humor” will have an immediate, positive impact on your audience. Custom tailored to meet the specific needs of attendees, this presentation will inform and delight any group and have a positive impact on improved day-to-day performance.

• Increase profitability
• Be more productive
• Regain your competitive edge
• Improve relations with clients and co-workers
• Approach each day with a more cheerful attitude

Summary

This is not about telling jokes, but rather a means of using our “inner sense of humor” and ‘humor memory’ to help us through any stressful situation and improve our lives. Barry’s best selling book, Practice Safe Stress, has been getting wonderful reviews and attests to this philosophy.

Outline

Understanding the philosophy behind the program

Defining your Inner Sense of Humor

What to do instead of counting to 10
Finding the humor in any situation

The Harvard Studies
How they relate to our business & personal lives

Demonstrate the relationship between reduced stress and profitability, productivity and efficiency.

The importance of attitude

The Five Minute Fun Fling
What it is, how & when to use it

The Humor Journal
Why it is a great tool

Dealing with Mr. or Ms. Stress
Visualization & Imagery

Humor props & Rubber Bands!

A brief explanation of Endorphins & how to generate them

Understanding how what you anticipate dictates how you feel

“The TV Game”

A word from the Mayo Clinic

Final summation, review, Q & A

Learner Outcomes

At the conclusion of this session, participants will be able to:

Minimize day-to-day stress with an eye towards greater profitability, productivity and efficiency

Use their Inner Sense of Humor to minimize day-to-day stress, anger & frustration.

Face each day with a more cheerful attitude resulting in greater efficiency, productivity & creativity.

Establish a frame of mind to keep day-to-day stress at a minimum.

Add appropriate humor to any situation, sales pitch, meeting or presentation.

Effectively deal with individuals who cause stress; on the spot!

Effectively use Humor Props.

Understand the importance of putting situations into proper perspective by using their Humor Memory.

Have a practical, new tool to improve life!

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