Top 25 random thoughts

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How is anyone supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
7. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
8. Bad decisions make good stories.
9. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
10. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Windows 7? I just can’t learn any more.
11. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
12. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever.
13. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail! What did you do after I didn’t answer, drop the phone and run?
14. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no freaking idea what was going on when I first saw it.
17. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
18. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to open a candy bar.
19. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
20. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Is it just me or do high school kids get weirder and weirder every year?
23. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after tilting your chair back a little too far.
24. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
25. Sometimes we can’t find our keys. Sometimes we can’t find our cell phones. But, we can always find the snooze button – first time, every time!

I hear these things said quite regularly and lately it has occurred to me that these concepts and philosophies are as true in life, just as they are in tennis. Take for example, “Enjoy, gentlemen!” Isn’t this something we all strive for, every day, in all we do? When we’re at play, the very concept of play is all about enjoyment and yet most of our play, tennis, basketball, Monopoly, card games and Pin the Tail on the Donkey, is all competitive. We play, because we enjoy the structure of the game and the competitive nature of the challenge and we want to win. In wanting to win we naturally are hoping that everyone else come in second.

On the tennis courts, if I hit a winning shot, I’m real happy about that! On the other hand, if I happen to hit an unforced error (or even a forced error) my opponent is very happy. Someone is happy with every shot. How true this is in every game or sport and how true in business as well.

Get the order…Happy! Lose the order to your competition and your competition is happy. You start the day with that “Enjoy, gentlemen!” attitude and have your ups and downs throughout the day based on how good your “shots” are and how often the competition misses.

In tennis, when I miss a shot, I’m eager to get the ball back in play so I can redeem myself…hit a winner. I take a few seconds to consider just what I did wrong and what I need to do to win the next point. I’ll consider my opponents strengths and weaker areas. Like a laser, I am focused on that ball and will do whatever it takes, often even taking major risks, to avoid his strengths and hit my best shot to his weak side or better still, “hit it where he ain’t”.

Do we do that in life? After a bad day with a friend, loved one or family member, do we blame them or consider what we did wrong? Do we focus on making things right, right away, or do we hold a grudge? Buddy Hackett once said, “I never hold a grudge, because while I’m busy holding a grudge, the other guy is out dancing.” Buddy Hackett was not only hysterically funny; he was rather wise as well. Thanks for that one Buddy.

In business, when we lose the sale, do we rethink our strategies or consider what the competition did that won him or her that order? How often do we (often secretly) accuse the prospect or customer of being a jerk for not seeing the benefits of going with us? Do we brush ourselves off and jump right back in or do we take some time to feel miserable and blame everyone else? Do we consider our mistakes, learn from them, take some major risks and come back to make our best shot? Tom Peters taught me that mistakes and failures are OK, if and when we learn from those failures. In fact, he says that, companies need to fail faster. He points out that failure is what breeds success.

So, “Enjoy, gentlemen and ladies” and remember, “Someone is happy with every shot.” Take a risk, make your shots, be happy and enjoy the challenge.

Barry Roberts is a motivational humorist helping business become more profitable by reducing stress and developing innovative strategies. His keynotes and workshop seminars earn the highest industry ratings. Barry’s book “Practice Safe Stress” is rather successful and is available internationally online. Visit www.BarryRoberts.com for more on Barry, his presentations, availability and contact information

On the list of little known holidays, some are rather important. During February, from the 10th to the 14th, we observe Cardiac Rehabilitation Week. This annual event is dedicated to the cardiac rehabilitation professionals and the patients they serve, to the goal of reducing the devastating effects of heart disease. Indeed a worthy endeavor to those of us who care about our health.

Not to take anything away from those professionals, and in addition to what they do, there is so much we can do for and by ourselves, through a daily regimen of laughter!

No joke here; from the Bible (“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.”) to Groucho Marx (“A clown is like an aspirin, except that it works twice as fast.”) experts through the ages are clear about the value of laughter as it relates to our heart and health.

Research studies have shown that laughter and a good sense of humor can protect against heart disease. In other experiments researchers have found that ten minutes of laughter can lower blood pressure and increase circulation. Dr. Michael Miller of the University of Maryland, home of these studies says that, “Recommendations for a healthy heart may one day be exercise, eat right and laugh a few times a day.”

Why wait until “one day”? Laughter, for its curative powers, is a lot like chicken soup…are we sure it will help? It won’t hurt!

Here then, is my prescription for Cardiac Rehabilitation Week and every day, to be taken as often as possible:

• Practice the Five Minute Fun Fling. . Simply put, the Five Minute Fun Flings are five-minute humor breaks that we allow ourselves to take at any time we need or want. During these five minutes of humor, some wonderful things happen to us. First, we help ourselves overcome any stress we may have encountered earlier in the day. Next, we put ourselves in a better frame of mind to deal with any stresses we might encounter later that day. Additionally, practicing the Five Minute Fun Fling helps us to draw humor more easily from those situations that normally cause us stress, anger and frustration.
The ease and frequency with which we participate in the Five Minute Fun Fling, and the value of its benefits improves steadily with practice, just as in practicing a musical instrument. However, the Fun Flings are, well, more fun. Visit www.BarryRoberts.com for more on this and a list of some Five Minute Fun Flings.

•Visualization and Imagery. Mr. or Ms. Stress is a person who most of you deal with each day at work. Surely you know who she is; that person whose mere presence causes you to feel stressed. This is most certainly one of those times that you need your sense of humor. You can do that with an approach called: “Visualization and Imagery.” Suppose Ms. Stress walks in and has big huge floppy rabbit ears or a duckbill where his mouth was? What if Ms. Stress suddenly has the same hairdo as Marge Simpson or Ronald McDonald? Mr. Stress might not look so intimidating and Ms. Stress may have lost some of her edge looking that ridiculous. Once you use your imagination to visualize him or her taking on some of the physical characteristics of your favorite cartoon character or anything you think is funny looking, then you can begin to see these individuals through your sense of humor rather than from a sense of fear or intimidation. This activity minimizes your stress and helps to maintain your confidence and control and adds some laughter to your day.

• Our “inner sense of humor.” We can only experience one emotion at a time and so, we may as well choose to feel happy. This emotion is the one with which we always work at our best and most efficient, creative manner. Stop and think before losing control. Our feelings last only a few seconds unless we fuel them with thoughts. Thoughts are what drive our feelings. Humorous thoughts can drive away negative feelings. Therefore, to find some humor long enough to calm ourselves so we can cope with and resolve the stress, we simply must Think! This idea is the power of “inner sense of humor.”
Relative to our stress level is the amount of humor we need to generate. If we are to minimize and relieve our level of stress, which can be a detriment to our cardiac health, we must enable ourselves to maximize our use of humor, making us more productive, more creative and better able to maintain our heart health and well being.
More tips and more fun are available at www.BarryRoberts.com and in Practice Safe Stress, a guide to using your “inner sense of humor to minimize day-to-day stress, available at the same web site.
Stay well and HAVE FUN!

It was my first trip to Las Vegas, some time around 1973. I stayed at the Las Vegas Hilton, which was the newest hotel in town at the time. The great comedian, Red Skelton, was headlining in the night club. If you’re too young, or do not know who Red Skelton was, I suggest you Google him or check him out on You Tube. He was really one of the greats.
One afternoon as I was walking about the casino, I spotted Red Skelton hiding in a corner, watching intently, someone playing a slot machine. In Red’s hand was his floppy hat (a prop he used in many of his comedy routines), filled with coins. I observed him watching this person for a rather long time and eventually the person left the slot machine, frustrated and disappointed for losing.
In a flash, Red Skelton ran to the slot machine and dumped all of his change into the cash bin. (Note: In those days the machines paid off in actual money, not a voucher as is done today. The money made a lot of noise as it spilled into the cash bin.) As he dumped the money in, he began to jump up and down, very excited, as if he had just won a big pot.
Hearing the ruckus, the poor fellow who just left the machine, turned to see what was going on and realizing that he left that machine just one “pull” too soon, stopped in his tracks, smacked in forehead and let out a big, “Oh no!”
With that Mr. Skelton scooped up the change back into his hat and ran to the fellow he had just duped. He explained what he had done and that, rather than gambling, this was how he spent his time in the casino. The two of them had a good laugh, shook hands and parted ways. Red Skelton headed back to his corner to find his next victim.

The watch happened to be a Movado knock-off! I was a little embarrassed, after all, the cost of a real Movado would mean nothing to him and so I answered, “Joe, what kind of question is that for one gentleman to ask another?”

“Excuse me”, he said and that was the end of it.

The next Father’s Day we were back at my brother-in-law’s and Joe was wearing a magnificent Rolex, obviously brand new and with a diamond to mark each hour. For the moment, I forgot about last year’s incident. I was really impressed and told Joe what a magnificent watch he was wearing. After all, he could afford it so why not get it for himself!

“You like it?”, he asked. “Twenty bucks at the flea market! You gotta be nuts to spend more that that for a watch!” He was so proud of his “find”. I never mentioned my Movado knock-off…didn’t want to appear to be outdoing him.

One evening, not so long ago, while my aunt was sitting on a bench at the foot of her bed and as she was dressing, she began to faint. Fortunately my uncle entered the room and saw her falling. He caught her seconds before she hit her head on the tile floor!

As he was holding her in his arms and patting her cheek, she started to come around. When he saw her eyes opening, he needed to make sure she was lucid and so he began shouting, “Sally! Look at me! What’s my name! What’s my name?”

Aunt Sally meanwhile, was now awake and had no idea that she had just fainted. Her only thought was, “Oh my goodness, what’s wrong with Harry…was is he asking me what his name is?”

In my head, I’m always thinking, “What do you mean, ‘How am I?’, I’m sick! I told you all about it when I called for the appointment!” But, rather than sound sarcastic, I usually reply with, “Well, not perfect. Otherwise, why would I be here, right?” I say it in a friendly way and usually get a chuckle.

It’s just one of those silly little things that always seems odd to me.

Have fun today.