I’m guessing you’ve all been there, and some of them are so…… Anyway, here are some examples, in chronological order, of some experiences I’ve had recently.

We purchased a new refrigerator, American made from a major appliance manufacturer. Not too many months later we began having trouble with one of the doors. Still under warranty, we called the manufacturer for service. First of all, and I’ve no ideas why, she (the rep.) had all sorts of trouble understanding and spelling my address, which is simply (something like) North Side Drive. So, having passed that hurdle, I offered my explanation of the problem.

First I told her the make, model number and serial number of the refrigerator and then explained, “The door handle keeps coming off.”

“I see, will you hold a moment, please?” (Wait, wait, and wait some more) “Sir, is that the front door or the back door of your refrigerator?”

WHAT?

Next case…

We had been having no end of troubles with our telecommunications service (TV, phone, internet) company. Their customer service people are inattentive, have a bad attitude and are inept. After way too much of this, I wrote a letter to the CEO of the company to enlist his help. About a week later I received a phone call from a “President’s Office Customer Liaison”. I told her what I had experienced and asked her why I shouldn’t cancel my service with them and move on to a competitor.

She proceeded with all of the virtues of their company and assured me, that I could call her directly in the future if I ever had another problem and she, personally, would make sure the issue was resolved at once.

I had three occasions to call her. Each time I did, I got her voice mail and she never returned my calls. I cancelled the service and have never received a follow-up call.

Here’s one more for you…
The lease on my car was coming to an end. I was asked to call to arrange for an inspector to come to my home to examine the vehicle. I called and scheduled the appointment for the following Monday, between 8AM and Noon.

“Four hours is kind of a big window of time,” I said. “Is it possible to narrow that down a bit, or perhaps the examiner could call me as his day progresses on Monday to give me a better idea of when to expect him?”

“Oh,” she said, he’ll call you when he’s in your driveway.”

“Why would he call me when he’s in my driveway? Why doesn’t he just knock on my door? You see, I want a little heads-up as to when I might expect him”

“I don’t know sir…that’s just what they do. They call you when they are in your driveway”

WOW! To me this is all scarier than all of the ghosts and goblins of Halloween.

Got any stories of your own? You can email them to me at info@BarryRoberts.com

I’ve decided to share these with you in the sincere hope that these quotes and others that you may find on your own will have the same benefits for you. As you read each of these quotes, take a moment to reflect on it. Think back to challenges you have had and how these wise words may have been helpful or comforting. As you think on the quotations that follow, project ahead to moments that will likely be in your future (i.e.; raising a child, dealing with a boss or employee, disappointment, serendipity or boredom) and consider how these words might be helpful to you or others.

Good luck with this, I truly hope it is meaningful to you. And as you go through life, remember what my Mom always said, “You do what you have to do.”

By the way, if you like these, let me know. There are hundreds more I can publish in future E-Zines. Additionally, I post several quotes almost every day on Facebook (BarryRoberts.speaker) and LinkedIn (Barry Roberts) or just follow me on Twitter (@Barry_Roberts).

The wisdom of the wise, and the experience of ages, may be preserved by quotation. Benjamin Disraeli

The whole art of life is in knowing how to transform anxiety into laughter. Alan Watts

Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier. Blore’s Razor

I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it. Thomas Jefferson, (attributed)

Write a wise saying and your name will live forever. Anonymous

To be amused by what you read–that is the great spring of happy quotations. C. E. Montague

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. George Bernard Shaw

Don’t knock the weather. If it didn’t change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn’t start a conversation. Ken Hubbard

Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. Jane Wagner, (and Lily Tomlin)

The secret to great acting is sincerity. If you can learn how to fake that, then you’ve got something. George Burns

Did you ever notice that the people who show up late are always more cheerful than those who arrived on time & were waiting for them? Anonymous

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. Mark Twain

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people. Robert Benchley

The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it. William James

Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary. Evan Esa

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. George Burns

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat. Lily Tomlin

If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t, either. Dick Cavett

You’ve achieved success in your field when you don’t know whether what you’re doing is work or play. WarrenBeatty

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. Christopher Hampton

Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that happen to a man. Leon Trotsky

One doesn’t have a sense of humor. It has you. Larry Gelbart

No one could handle a person who was 100% honest all the time, luckily, no one will ever have to. Mark Twain

Take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then say it with the utmost levity. George Bernard Shaw

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Rodney Dangerfield

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one. Leo J. Burke

Live every day like it’s gonna be your last. That’s my advice. And keep your sense of humor. Where would any of us be without it? Jonathan Winters (at age 77)

There were many times that a great idea would work for quite a few of our clients and as long as those clients were not competing with each other, there was no reason not to demonstrate and depend on the same (successful) idea over and over again. Here is where many of my salespeople began to have a problem. They’d come to me (I was also the sales manager/trainer) and complain that this or that idea was getting kind of boring and so they were reluctant to suggest it.

Hold on a minute! Boring? I’ve presented these ideas more than anyone and the results have always been exciting! Knowing just how successful a particular idea has been tells me that the next presentation will likely result in another sale…and how much fun is that?!?!

You see, here’s the thing, it’s just like with old movies on TV; it’s not an old movie to me, if I haven’t seen it before. And, it’s a brand new idea to the client or prospect if they haven’t seen it before. More importantly it’s about your attitude.

When you go camping (this will tie-in, I guarantee it), one of the first things you want to do is start a fire. Now, you can gather some dried kindling, cluster it together, get out your magnifying glass, find the correct angle of the sun and hold that glass in place until the heat ignites the twigs and voila!…after considerable time and effort, you’ve got a fire. Congratulations!

Or, you can crumble up some paper, put some dried twigs on top, light the paper with a pocket lighter and in no time, with very little effort, you’ve got the same fire. Who cares and what does it matter how the fire got started?

It’s the same in sales (here’s the tie-in); at the start of the presentation it’s OK to conjure up your enthusiasm (in fact, that should be practiced.) Call upon whatever it was that originally made you enthusiastic and, like a great actor, conjure up again that enthusiasm again. Who cares and what does it matter where the enthusiasm comes from? If you do a good job, in a short while your client will begin to become genuinely enthused which will spark real enthusiasm in you and very soon, guess what?…You’ve got a sale.

In some ways, life is very much like sales; at times, they can both benefit from the same approach. Often, we need to convince (conjure up) ourselves to be happy! Happiness, to me, is what life is all about. Most of what we do is to make ourselves happy. If you find ways or convince yourself to be happy, you will be. You’ll also generate happiness in others which will enhance your own happiness. As humans, we can only experience one emotion at a time; I say we might as well choose to be happy. Maintain a high level of confidence and enthusiasm about life and you’ll be well on your way to greater successes and achieving your goals.

Let me know about your experiences with this philosophy and receive a FREE copy of my e-book Practice Safe Stress. Want more information about the benefits of laughter? Contact me at info[at]BarryRoberts.com Have Fun! Get 3 friends to sign up for my e-zine…another way to earn a FREE copy of my e-book!

In truth I never met Willie Nelson. We have little or nothing in common although I do enjoy his music and can relate to a particular set of lyrics.

As a speaker and entertainer, I am and have been “On the Road Again” quite a bit. Perhaps not as much as Willie and yet, I’ve done my share. Today especially, I’ve been humming that song all day. You see, in just a few days, I’ll be making the drive from my winter home in Southeast Florida to my summer home in Northeast Pennsylvania…about 1400 miles.

Here’s how it all relates (my thoughts on the lyrics are in bold type):

On the road again,
Just can’t wait to get on the road again.
The life I love is making’ music with my friends
And I can’t wait to get on the road again.

Actually, I don’t love the drive. It is, however, a means to an end; to reach my friends and to be (geographically) closer to my family.

On the road again,
Going places that I’ve never been.
Seeing things that I may never see again
And I can’t wait to get on the road again.

We do stop and tour some wonderful places along the way!

Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway.
We’re the best of friends,
Insisting that the world keeps turning our way, and our way,
Is on the road again.

That’s us, my wife (of 40 years!)…my best friend, enjoying our life.

The life I love is making music with my friends
And I can’t wait to get on the road again.

And, the moral to all of this;
Enjoy your life! Share it with your loved ones and friends. Open new vistas; have an adventure now and then. Go Have Fun!

If you’ve got a traveling or loving life story to share, email me at info@BarryRoberts.com

As a humorist and professional speaker, friends and acquaintances are often asking me how to bring humor into the workplace. Not simply the telling of jokes or for goofing around but, the kind of humor that can help to ease a tense situation or just bring about some personal relief after a particularly trying day. Now, when I am not on the stage speaking to groups about humor and stress, I just happen to have my business to run, so I don’t have much first hand experience with tension, or “particularly trying days”, so what do I know about stress? “From what I’ve heard, it sounds as though things can go askew once in a while and actually cause one to feel some emotional discomfort”, (he said, with his tongue firmly in his cheek.) Just in case any of this ever happens to you, there are a few simple (and fun) things you might try.

Let me assure you that when you try using any of your “Humor Props” in the way I’m about to describe you will feel absolutely ridiculous , but I promise you that in the end you will have accomplished what you set out to do; break the tension, feel better, move ahead and remain productive!

If you find yourself on the phone and in a conversation that is becoming stressful, for whatever reason, put on your clown nose or Groucho glasses! The key is to do this in the spur of the moment (that’s why you need to have them out in the open, around your desk, so you can see the props, grab one and use it to your advantage), without skipping a beat. Once the prop is properly in place, just keep the conversation going and realize how nutty you look (it would be great if you had a mirror handy). Once you start to feel real silly and you allow your sense of humor to kick in you’ll find that you can better deal with the party (what a word to describe someone who’s causing you stress) on the other end of your phone. You’ll find also that once you allow your mood to lighten, you’ll be more in control, more confident and more creative with the solutions you suggest to resolve the issue. Don’t be afraid to try this even in a one-on-one, in person situation as a quick way to break the tension.

For those of you who may be in management positions and are about to have a meeting with one or more of your personnel, a meeting that will probably be unpleasant, get out your silly hats! Once everyone is seated and ready to begin, when you can feel the tension in the room, put your silly hat on and ask the others in attendance to wear one also. After the initial shock, you’ll find that everyone’s mood will lighten up almost instantly and that you’ll be able to get on with the meeting without that bogged down, up-tight feeling that can only be a detriment to progress. Put everyone’s anxiety aside and you’ll have an easier time clearing the air and ending the conflict.

Please remember that if attitude is everything, an attitude of respect for others is absolutely essential! When you’re on the phone, feel free to have all the fun you want in order to help yourself (after all, who’ll know besides you?), but when others are involved you must make it clear that you are not mocking or being flippant about the situation, but rather you believe that by helping to generate some humor you can all feel better more quickly and thereby speedily and effectively resolve the problem at hand.

I actually have had some stress and tension in my day and have personally tried all of these ideas(and more) more than once. Others to whom I’ve made these suggestions have felt just a little uncomfortable about trying them, but once they did, they’ve found that that THEY WORK! I’m confident that you’ll find successful results, too! Please let me know, won’t you? Thanks and HAVE FUN.

PS: I’d appreciate it if you’d also let me know about any other creative/productive ideas you come up with for your “Humor Props”. Thanks, again!

Ever wonder how “they” thought of that idea or what it takes to be more innovative? Here’s a sure-fire method to help you develop your Innovative Thinking Skills. Grab a pen or pencil and a few sheets of paper; this is an interactive article! Let’s begin………

First of all believe that you are innovative! Let me assure you that whether you believe that you are or, that you are not, you’re probably right. To help establish a real belief in your ability, think back on some of the innovative things you have done, said or created during your career.

Next, understand that when our thinking takes on a definite form and structure it becomes more effective. While I am suggesting that all readers follow the same step-by-step format, you’ll find that because of your own uniqueness, tastes and life experiences you will each develop your own innovative solutions, even when the questions are the same.

Step one: State the question, problem or dilemma clearly at the top of your worksheet.

Step two: List many, varied and unusual possible answers to your question or solutions to your problem. Do not pre-judge or edit your ideas. List everything (everything!).

Step three: Review your list and group your ideas/answers into categories. For example: hats, t-shirts and socks are all different but all are wearable. Apples, mugs, bagels and forks are different, yet all relate to food or eating. Any ideas/answers that do not fit into a category with anything else on your list, are the most unique.

Step four: Take the best or most unique ideas/answers and elaborate on them to make them truly extraordinary. You can do this by combining two ideas, consider using or doing your idea in a totally new and different way, look at it upside down or backwards, and be outrageous! Add to them, diminish them, change the color or shape, turn it inside out (get the idea?).

Before you begin, it is essential to shift to “right brain” thinking. The right side of our brain is where we do our imaginative, emotional and visual thinking. You can make the shift by bringing humor to your mind (read the funnies or listen to your favorite comic), try some brain teasers (create your own: list all things you can think of that are different shades of green or what other uses are there for a wristwatch, other than a time instrument?), listen to music, play with your kids or play like a kid. Even take a look at the “Five Minute Fun Flings” section of my web site, www.BarryRoberts.com.

Don’t be afraid to take risks! New answers are what lead to excellence and that is what Innovative Thinking is all about. Don’t be afraid of failure either. Failure is a sign that someone is doing something! By learning from our failures we get them out of the way and move towards success.

Remember that by simply approaching a problem, question or dilemma in a new way, we will usually come up with answers or solutions that are new as well. Giving ourselves the opportunity to see a vast array of possible solutions or answers and then categorizing them to find the most unique, enables us to develop the innovations we seek.

Good Luck & Have Fun!

Barry Robertsis a humorist, helping businesses achieve maximum profitability & productivity. He conducts seminars & presents keynotes for a broad spectrum of corporations and associations across the USA and Canada. To request some valuable information on “Risk Taking” and “The shift to Right Brain Thinking” you can e-mail Barry at info@BarryRoberts.com,please add any questions or comments you may have. Barry’s two books “Practice Safe Stress” & “The Sales Coach II” are available now at www.BarryRoberts.com.

Once I had decided to keep this humor journal, I was on the lookout for all things funny and soon realized that this hunt for humor had become a major factor in brightening my average day. In fact, on those rare (for me) days when I might be feeling a bit down, I’d go to my humor journal and find enough things, that were funny to me, to cheer me up! Hey, this little book I had created has become a rather valuable tool for my personal life. I told my friends about it and some of them liked the idea enough to try it. After a few months, most of them reported back to me that they found great value in it as well.

Here comes the big payoff! When I am preparing for a speaking engagement and want to add some original humor, appropriate to my subject or audience, I’ll always find something to use from the countless entries of personal, funny anecdotes in my humor journal! Fantastic! If you are ever running any sort of meeting, large, small, formal or informal, and wish to add some original humor, your humor journal is perfect. Review it for some humor, appropriate to either your audience or your topic, insert that into your talk and there you have it!

I put everything in there…jokes I hear (those are more for me and not to use in my presentations or keynotes), funny “people watching” moments (airports are great for that), advertisements that make me laugh (there’s the ad on the plumbers truck that states, “Remember, a flush beats a full house!”), funny road signs (oh, they’re out there. I recall one that says “LODGING NEXT RIGHT”, beneath that is another sign, “STATE PRISON”), newspaper clippings, I even take photos of things I see that you just wouldn’t believe. I have a picture of my car, my tag says HAHA1, parked totally at random, next to a car with a tag that reads, VRY FUNY.

In my keynotes on minimizing day-to-day stress, I share all of this with my audience and the feedback has been wonderful. People just love the concept and find real benefit in keeping a humor journal. I believe you will, too. Get yourself a notebook, think for a moment or go out exploring and begin making your entries. If you have a moment, I’d love to hear from you on this.

One of the classes I covered that day was the orchestra…a fun and interesting challenge for me. As the class began, all of the students took their places and began to take their instruments out for the rehearsal. I heard the squealing of the violins and violas as they tuned up, the squawking of the clarinets and a tooted arpeggio from the trumpets all a part of the readiness prior to playing the instruments.

I too, was getting ready when a hand went up, all the way in the back and to my right. “Excuse me”, the young man said, “Can you help me over here?”

“Sure thing”, I said, “I’ll be there in a minute!” I stopped what I was doing and made my way through the chairs and music stands to help the student musician. It was one of the tuba players who had taken the valves out of his tuba to oil them up. This is done regularly by the brass instruments. However, on putting the valves back in, one of them was stuck.
I took the tuba from him and removed all of the valves again and found that one was simply not put in correctly. After I replaced them all, I pushed each one up and down a few times to make sure they worked properly. Just to make certain the problem was solved, I put the tuba to my lips and played a few notes. “Ok, it seems fine now”, I said and handed the tuba back to him. I got a low muffled “Thanks”, in return.

As I turned to get back to the podium, I heard him say to one of his friends, “Oh man…he used my mouthpiece!” He was right, maybe I shouldn’t have and when I turned to apologize, I saw him (concerned about the sanitary state of his mouthpiece) cleaning it off with his sock!

I wish all of you the Happiest Holidays. And, hey…tell your friends about my E-zine and have them sign on at www.BarryRoberts.com. If you can get 3 new subscribers for me, I’ve got a special holiday gift for you!

There’s a nice little rally going on, your opponent hits you a really nice shot, not too difficult to return. You get your racquet back, take a few steps towards the ball, turn on it to swing and a gust of wind kicks in! Suddenly the ball is not where you expected it to be…what to do? You make some quick adjustments to your footing, alter your swing a bit, curse under your breath and go for it. The one thing you don’t ever do is give up on it! Just like in life. How often might the unexpected get in your way?

You’re out driving on a beautiful, crisp autumn day. You know the route and you’ve not a care in the world. As you turn around a bend in the road, suddenly in front of you, there’s a huge branch that has fallen from a tree during the night. What to do? You make some quick adjustments to you footing, from the gas to the brake, alter your swing a bit by turning that steering wheel, curse under your breath and avoid that branch!

Perhaps you’re out on a sales call and although you’re very well prepared, during your opening conversation you unexpectedly find out some information that alerts you to the fact that your prospect is not going to appreciate your pitch. What to do? You make some quick adjustments to your “footing” by digging deep into your experience and knowledge base, you alter your swing by finding a new approach to get you where you want to go with the client, curse under your breath and go for it. The one thing you don’t ever do is give up on it! Just like in tennis.

To quote my good friend and speaker extraordinaire, Gil Eagles, “Guess what? Now what?” In other words, when life’s unexpected events get in the way or interfere with your plans…Guess what? It’s life, it’s real and yes, it’s actually happening! Now what? Now you call upon your past experiences, your knowledge and the resources at hand to make some adjustments and do what you must, to make the best of the situation.

Of course, there are the obstacles we know about in advance. When I am aware of the wind on the tennis courts and I toss the ball up to serve, I know what the wind will do to my toss and so I make adjustments in advance. When I know there has been a rain storm and I’m out in the car, I drive more carefully, extra alert for wet leaves and fallen branches. If I’ve done my research on a prospect and I am familiar with his or her likes and dislikes I have a much better shot at closing the sale.

In tennis and in life; be prepared for the known and unknown; avoid the stress, in fact Practice Safe Stress (more at www.BarryRoberts.com). Have Fun & Good Luck Out There!

“GOOD-HEARTED LIVING”©

Follow these daily practices to prevent Hardening of the Attitudes and Add More Laughter to Your Life

Mondays are for Compliments
Look for the good in others, tell them about it and you might just end up laughing together.

Tuesdays are for Flexibility
An open mind lets the laughter in. It is a good thing to be open to new ideas. There is no laughter in being stubborn.

Wednesdays are for Gratitude
An attitude of gratitude can bring serenity and laughter.

Thursdays are for Kindness
Simple kindness may be the most vital link to human beings living together in peace and caring for a planet we all share.

Fridays are for Forgiveness
Releasing anger makes you healthier and opens up room in your heart for more laughter. Let go of anger.

Weekends are for Chocolate
Remember to enjoy any of your favorite things. Take time for leisure, pleasure & relaxation.

©Steve Wilson, President, World Laughter Tour